Wednesday, January 6, 2010

don't look back, baby

2010 inaugurated by a hard drive crash that wiped out everything but a newish version of my dissertation.

music gone, pics gone, a million various and sundry writings from the last two years of my life. two years of private, creative, and academic writing has just been skidaddled out of existence.


good thing i am not a girl who believes in portents, signs, or other such mystical stuffs. it prob would not bode well to have things go that sideways on jan 3. but lesson learned and new jump drive acquired. new external hard drive will be purchased on the asap and never again will i leave my digi life all unprocteded. and thank all that is good and reason-filled that i emailed myself that diss chapter. it's not the newest, but i'm trying as hard as i can not to pine for those minor changes and two pages of new material that are now off in the ether.

so the going motto for 2010 is don't look back.

even tho i feel somewhat like a kid who's been spun around a million times before taking a swing at a pinata, i know i will find my footing. and i'll try to see this as a fresh start to the year. 2009 was kind of a loser year anyway. i mean, i traveled a touch, i saw my friends, i was a good teacher, and i was a solid (if occasionally a bit bitchy and maniac, sorry luv) girlfriend. but i also got a whole lot of barely anywhere with my own academic progress and got diagnosed with MS. (and let's not forget that god damned spinal tap that led to the diagnosis. i seriously vote that worst thing of 2009. no one wants a big motherfucking needle stuck in their spine or to feel the numbed out but still there sensation of their spinal fluid dripping out of their body. gnarly.)

in a weird way, i feel like i have nothing behind me. it's all future. tomorrow's thursday and it all starts now.

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