Tuesday, January 12, 2010

back on track is looking more like off the rails every day


siiighs. had a failure day today and no one likes the failure.

sat at vienna making a mess of the same two pages for three hours. got frustrated and took a break to call my doctor's office about getting on the MS meds. again. it was unwise. i should have known better. i totally teared up outside the cafe b/c the office manager told me that she was *not* the person i needed to contact, but instead i should be talking to my drug company. even tho both the drug company and the insurance peeps said to call the doctor. so i'll be playing call-everyone-and-their-god-damned-mother again tomorrow and see what new crap they will invent for me to do. really, it would be amusing if i didn't need to be on medication that i can't seem to get. at least i feel fine. i need to get more mean with these a-holes.

tevs. after writing disaster mess and doctor disaster mess i went to the library to screen some vids on africa and the caribbean (cote d'ivoire and guadeloupe, specifically) for my clase. THEY SUCKED! all the ones that i found (and there weren't many) were either in french or so totally 80s and craptastic it would be punishable by law for me to make anyone watch them. so there was an extra hour or so down the shitter.

yeah, crabby pants backman over here. crankiness led to poor choices re: booze and stacy's pita chips. so we can add self-control failure and healthiness failure to the growing list. did manage to not meet others at sparrow for half-off wine night and pizza tho. that's something. i def did less damage at home than i would have there. will save that for next tuesday. ;)

and i did head to the gym yesterday, so i'm feeling nicely sore from that still. and will head out again tomorrow. i just wish i could get myself riled up about the semester and whatnot. guess i need another manifesto. right now it just feels like brain confusion and dread. oh, and maybe some wintery depression feelings. i am prone to those.

sorry for the whinging, but it had to come out. will upright the whole collapsing structure on the morrow. after i hang out in bed, hiding from the world for a while.

1 comment:

Trouble said...

sometimes you've gotta call a spade a spade and just realize the bad days will probably end as soon as you wake up the next morning! hope things have gotten better :)