Wednesday, June 24, 2009

yesterday

so yesterday i got diagnosed with ms and then my parents took me shopping.  and out to a fun pub dinner where i had a couple of much needed beers and a marinated portobello cap sandwich and fries.

i feel fine with the diagnosis, esp since the doctor was very positive and said that i have a mild case that's still in the early stages.  with medication, it should be really treatable and i may only have flare ups once every few years.  thank effing all that is good in the world for advancement in pharmaceuticals, seriously.  i know it's not a popular stance, but i don't motherfucking care.  if someone got diagnosed with ms twenty years ago, they would not have had the chances at a healthy active life the way i do now.  i saw my neighbor who had ms deteriorate to the point that she could barely make it to her mailbox and back to the front door and she was only in her early forties.  fuck that, my friends.  i would like to pay and pay and pay and hope that someone is making assloads of money so that i can play tennis until i'm 80.  

i hope that someone is richer than the stars for giving me the sense of hope i have now.  because without these meds, i might be facing near-blindness, use of cane or wheelchair, frickin numbness and weakness in all my body parts and all sorts of other crap body functioning.

glad the parents were here and that pretty baby is here to help me feel normal, loved, and spoiled.  m&d bought be two dresses at anthro, some glassware at crate and barrel, and then stocked my fridge at trader joes.  today we went for a really awesome hike at turkey run state park which featured a mini waterfall, cool rock canyon things, a big flowy creek and maje humidity.  but my quads are sore and i feel tired in that healthy active way that is the best kind of tired.

dinner at bistro with blackened salmon, cocktails, wine, champers and dessert didn't hurt either.  i am gonna miss them like crazy when they leave tomorrow.  i might cry now just thinking abt it.  i LOVE my family and have so much fun with them and i hate that we can't see each other as often as we like.  i have got daydreams of big weekly sunday dinners on a patio somewhere warm with noise and music and the loving bickering that happens naturally when people are super close and honestopen with each other, the teasing, the laughing, the midnight pizza run the late night tv watching.

anyway, i feel good abt where i am in my life and i feel capable of dealing with whatever comes my way.  i know i have bad habits that i need to fix and i'm not always the person i want to be.  but i know i can fix my problems and i know even how i can be exactly who i want to be. 

overall, there is so much goodness and light that i can't even feel bad abt the diagnosis.

1 comment:

Katie said...

I'll never forget coming home one afternoon to ambulances in the court and Mrs. R being wheeled out on a stretcher. Scared the bejeezuz outta me!

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but I too, am all for the advancement of pharmecuticals and medical science! They have kept my sister alive!

Here's to many years of playing tennis! ;)