Saturday, June 20, 2009

bodies, behaving and misbehaving

it seems as tho, without my permission, my body has taken one more step toward ms.  got the spinal tap results back and they weren't very good.  the secretary was vaguer than vague, so i have to wait until my tuesday doctor's appointment to really figure out what's going on.  i guess i have 'elevated levels' on two out of the three things they test for in spinal fluid.  not what i wanted to hear, but not exactly a diagnosis either.  

i feel okay abt it, not scared or nervous or freaked out.  probably because my body feels sort of generally awesome these days.  i feel sore in all the good ways from going to the gym thrice this week and i have lots of energy from eating well all week too.  

getting some potentially bad news is only more support for my healthy trend.  i have much better reasons for getting fit now than i have in the past.  a few years ago when i lost a lot of weight, i didn't really give a shit abt being healthy.  i just didn't want to be fattycakes anymore.  now, more than wanting to be thinner, i want to be stronger.  i want to have better endurance and i want to be able to lift things and pull things if i have to and deal with more spinal taps if i have to.  essentially, i want to be able to take care of myself if something bad happens.  

and if these results mean that one day my body is going to start quitting on me or throwing little body tantrums, then all the more reason to use it productively now and feel good abt it now.

plus, if you add a dash of thinkin into the equation, human beings are capable of surpassing a lot of apparent limitations, capable of changing and rewriting all kinds of things.  

so i'm headed in the direction of a large green smoothie* and nice, long walk at celery bog.  if the books don't get to me first...

*new fave green smoothie combo*

1 cup coconut water
3 big handfuls of spinach
1 apple
4 strawberries
1 handful blueberries
1/4 tsp freshly grated ginger
juice of 1/2 lime 

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