Sunday, May 10, 2009

happy/sad

so i passed a really lovely and fun weekend in chicago with my ucsd girls (minus lorena, christy, and kim who were all really dearly missed.  really really really missed.).  we walked around downtown, had brunches, made a drunken late-night trek to a gentleman's club and bought sarah a lap dance, had fancy mexican food, pizza and cake, pajama party in sarah and erin's hotel room, took pictures by lake michigan.  fabulousness and hilarity all around.  

feeling their absence now that i'm back home.  sarah gave us goody bags at brunch on saturday and made a little speech that made me cry.  i love these girls a lot and it's really good to be around them.  they are all just health and happiness and success and beauty.  and what awesomely strong personalities.  everyone is just so damn awesome in their own quirky ass, awesome life ways.  i'm so fascinated by and totally in love with all of them.  it's really something special to be wildly excited by people even after 15 (!) years.  fifteen motherfucking years.  i can't even get over that.

i've been carrying a little weight of sadness with me since friday morning, though, when i found out from my department head that a student of mine died last week.  i keep crying about it, for her and for her family.  i wrote her a letter of recommendation two weeks ago.  she sat in my office and talked about her future, what she wanted to do after school, how much she liked reading and art.  i'm just so crushed.  she was so young and beautiful and i just can't believe it at all.  

so i'm sitting on the red couch, thinking about girls and girlfriends and crying for someone i hardly knew and just sort of feeling too much about all of it.  writing it out is good though.

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