Wednesday, December 31, 2008


did you know that san francisco is full of wonders?  it has secrets on every street corner and treasures in neon alleyways.  i'll tell you more tomorrow.

Friday, December 26, 2008

holidays, bangs, french babies

okay, i'm going to be honest and admit that the best thing that happened to me this holiday season is my brother's introduction of capucine, french baby extraordinaire.  she kicks the british babies of the holiday right in the arse with her story, her ridiculously anime brown eyes and her total commitment to storytelling.  charm times a million.

Once upon a time... from Capucha on Vimeo.

i've got totally cute coats, a fun leather jacket, new bangs, and total arizona relaxation.  i'm heading toward a half mla/half friends visit to san francisco and i've had a lovely fam visit replete with awesome new american dinner out (cocktails, salad, wine, mains, more wine, desert) plus all manner of cooking, lounging, playing wii, reading books, and laughing.  but key to my happy mood is the most charming capucine -- check out her hating carrots, loving jam and cottage cheese, speaking english, and having oddly vamipiric teeth on

do i need to produce french babies with saucer shaped brown eyes?  don't think so.  happy to watch them on the interweb tho!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

done and done (almost)

finished the grades.  will submit tomorrow morning and then start packing for the west!  (read: dresses, dresses, and more dresses).  i am seriously excited for some backman family time and then some mla/ucsd girl hang out time.  to celebrate, i'm drinking a newly made-up martini called 'use up this brandy that i bought for cooking.'  it has brandy, simply apple apple juice, lemon juice and a sugar rim.  it's pretty tasty and wintery akshually -- fitting since there's still snow on the ground.

it's not pretty snow anymore tho, dear reader.  it's dirty snow with ice crunchies.  and we all know how charming that is.  the kind of charm that sends me charging toward the west, gagging for a glass of champagne and anything chic.  which is why i have maje anticipation for a new year's dinner with the girls at levende lounge!  i am so curling my hair and putting on some heels for that one.  ah, just thinking abt a proper city brings sparkles to my heart.

so now i'm gonna restart that el cantante soundtrack (except jesus god for song number two which is an earful of terrible), make another brandy-apple, and pick up watchmen (with which i'm actually kinda bored, so hopefully it will pick up soon).

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

my new secret love

i'm a little embarrassed abt it, yes, but i'm newly addicted to frickin prison break.  seriously, it's half retarded, but i love it.  kinda.  in that way where you think its crappy but keep watching it because you're bored but next thing you know you have little TV crushes on half the guys and all of the two girls on the show.  and sometimes there's good writing!  like when mahone goes,

"I need a junkyard dog who's willing to do the ugly things it takes to bring a con to justice." Pause. "Are you my dog, Brad?"

And Bellick goes, "Damn hell yeah I am."

and his voice is all gravels and monotone.  swoooon, if you could ever swoon over a man who looks like the human version of a pitbull and who you would never want to touch you in a million years.  ah!  there it is!  i secretly heart thugs.  srsly though, i think the guys who play abruzzi, t-bag, mahone, and sucre are all good in their parts.

plus, i buy michael and sara's attraction, which barely ever happens for me.  i have such a hard time believing movie/tv show chemistry.  but throw a sweet-looking girl in with a pretty boy who's supposed to be some kind of genius, i'm game.  argh, too bad it's all deus ex machina plotting and various lost type plot-progression stalls.  

argh again, i don't care.  all i wanna be is a junkyard dog for somebody and say 'damn hell yeah' like that.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

{creepy ballerina}



what i'm talkin abt.  why i am suddenly into creepy ballerinas as an idea?  dunno.  probably because i have a little girl's fascination with the tutu.  i also heart messy buns and undone updos.  i imagine with some ghosty grey eye makeup and paley pale pink lipstick a girl could really get her haunted ballet thing together.  i would also add organic looking ring:

and kate spadey satin heels b/c even dead dancers have fun: hits the nail on the head with their 'pagan' section.  okay, enough foray into fictional fashion.  gotta grade.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

many things

many things!  

i think i forgot to say that there was a party last weekend that was an event.  lots of people, brewskis, an unimaginable number of treats, lots of red wine, drunkards, snobs, some sexy nerds, writers, a-holes, and goofballs.  pretty much everything you might want at a grad school party.  somebody (a girl, in the interest of full disclosure) told me i have a nice ass and a nice rack, somebody else liked my shoes, and another girl said my hair looked pretty.  so, overall, compliments + booze + party food = a fun night all around.

this weekend i went to purdue's winter dance works which was...something else.  really pomo hopping around, scooting across the floor, a few things i could label 'dancing' everything else i might call 'specialized movement.'  shit i couldn't do -- for sure.  shit i would want to do -- probably not.  interesting to see, esp because i knew some people involved.  so it was fun, if not exactly my bag.

i collect a pile of papers tomorrow and then its grade grade grade until forever.  i'm not fearing them or dreading them tho since i gave prompts that i actually want to read their answers to.  but i do have that gearing-up-for-work feeling that is similar to the right-before-a-race feeling -- like i want the gun to go off so i can just start working and stop anticipating.

i also feel a bizarre combo of rage with a healthy dose of impending freedom.  which will probably just land me at the bottom of a whiskey bottle on thursday night, but whatever.  it's good that i'm going to arizona and san francisco soon.  i think i may need to chill out a bit.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

silent and beautiful

it has been getting wintery in these parts and, thus far, i've been enjoying our bit of snow.  the midwest is still quite exotic to me, all told.  the snow and the vast empty cornfields make me feel foreign in a nice way.  kind of apart from everything around me and like the peaceful observer i have the tendency to be in a lot of areas of my life, i guess.  thomas mann wrote a lot about how distanced writers can be from the world and it's times like these that i'm compelled to agree.  but, then, i remember that i'm not really a writer (yet) and that there are so many things that have grown roots inside me that i'm a fool to think i stand apart from anything.

the editor's letter in this month's domino says that we like magazines because they're silent and beautiful.  i haven't thought too much abt why i like magazines so well, but that really rung true.  they're (at least the good ones) not blaring at me like the TV or sucking me into a really detailed plot line.  i feel like they steal me away into a really peaceful world where i can think quietly about what i find beautiful and how i want to surround myself, what everyday clothes and objects and recipes can bring to my sense of the richness of the visible world.

of course, we all know that silent and beautiful can be seductive in dangerous ways.  but here's to appreciating those qualities thoughtfully!  and here's to bust, to living etc., to domino and lucky and to nylon.  and occasionally instyle when i need to see what charlize theron is wearing in terms of diamonds.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

organization sunday!

it's sunday, it's 4 pm and i haven't done anything but eat peanut butter and banana sandwich and watch prison break on dvd.  time to make organization happen.  and cleaning of the dishes and taking out of the trashes.  gotta get my ducks in a row before finals week hits and i'm up to my eyeballs in freshman comp papers.  and, AGH! have to work on dissertation and finish two syllabi for spring and write that celanire paper.  if i don't get on this biz, my plan to go awesome will have really turned into an awesome sized FAIL.

and FAIL gets nobody a tenure track position at a school within reasonable distance of a beach. so onward!  to the paperwork! 

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

it's closing in on the end of the semester here and my brain's going crazy in a million directions, none of them productive.  i've gotta let some of this out:

* they don't seem to make ankle pants for girls with hips
* i think i'll be teaching watchmen next semester and i'm excited
* i love trader joe's marinated artichoke hearts
* i'm obsessed with facebook 
* there aren't enough blogs to read (where in the god damned world is hookers on stilts?!?! i don't want it; i NEED it.  and we all know that when you NEED something it's a RESPONSIBILITY.)
* i'm having serious writing anxiety.  and while this makes me feel closer to my students, it does nothing to help any of us.
* if i don't read a beautiful novel sometime in the next few weeks, my heart is going to explode from lack of good words.
* i'm rewatching buffy season 5 and it's bringing up ish from my past that makes me nostalgic, happy, and annoyed all at once.
* one of my favorite people in the universe is in the hospital eating ice chips after surgery and i hope that she recovers really fast and that nothing hurts too much.  i haaaaaaate when my people hurt.