Tuesday, September 30, 2008

he he hello

been gradin papers and watching ugly betty.  i think maybe for eternity.  i can't remember the last time i did anything different.

spinach enchiladas turned out pretty damn good, if i do say so myself.  tho probably any combination of spinach and cheese is going to turn out relatively palatable.  

i have that feeling that things are stacking up around me and i don't seem to have enough time or energy to get to all of them.  maybe i'm getting that feeling from the dishes and trashes that are beginning to accumulate in ye olde apartment.  feh.

i think it's just time to mix things up.  going to chicago on thurs and fri for some girl fun time with sarah and teh mills which i am super looking forward to.  and then soto's wedding in a couple of weeks which should also be grand.

i think i'm a little bummed because it suddenly became fall today.  it's been sunny and swell and then i go out to walk beckett this morning and it's all freezy and overcast.  bullshit central.

i also have noticed that i've been getting the rages while driving/walking around/grading/existing recently.  everything seems to be making me srsly annoyed.  perhaps a weekend of brunches and girl stuff will even me out.  if not, i'm sure to be at the black sparrow on saturday night.  

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


i got some slutteh heels in the ups today.  okay, yeah, i may be abusing some of my student loan funds, but they were on SALE!  and they fit just perfectly.  it's such a gamble with the internet purchasing, you know.  but i love them and they've got leather and buckles and i will be wearing them for the next week because i love them so.

tomorrow i'm finishing memento in both my classes and this weekend i'm trying my hand at spinach enchiladas.  i think that caesar salad and baked potato will also show up on the weekend menu cuz i'm in the mood.

ran today at celery bog and it was seriously crappy.  not sure why since the runs have been good lately but i was sucking wind like crazy and my thighs were so not cooperative.  plus, there were two other girls running in the forresty area and they were so speedy and poised and one of them left trails of vanilla perfume behind her.  but i saw the enormous deer again today (there were three of the magical little guys) and we stopped and looked at each other for a bit and i bet you the speedy girls didn't get to, like, have a moment with magical deer.  so there.  

Monday, September 22, 2008

a brief ARGH

what's up with blogger?  i can't edit any of my posts anymore.  guess i'll have to live my spelling errors and typos.  god, that makes my skin crawl.
i woke up on sunday morning to the sound of my neighbor vacuuming and i so wished it was my mom and i was upstairs at the old house in san ramon.  just a brief wave crash of nostalgia i guess.  when i'm hungover from too many 'southsides' at the sparrow, i want to comfort myself.  and what's more comforting that the sort of white noise hum of family puttering around the house and chatting and making you coffee and such?

obviously i'm going through some kind of missing my family thing after that family wedding in norcal.  sometimes my mom talks abt the idea of a 'multigenerational home' (a fancy way of saying 'yes, i still live with my parents,' really) and, maybe i've been watching too much ugly betty, but it certainly appeals to me.  maybe multigenerational compound-manse would be better.  or multigenerational-a-few-blocks-away-from-each-other.  i'm no big fan of communal living -- i like things to be clean when i want them to be clean and messy when i want them a mess and plus, i need my own bathroom -- but, man, how i love a busy house!  peoples coming and going and watching telly and cooking to opera music and bumping into each other in the kitchen.  dogs and cats and recliners.  oh holy crap!  i'm suburban!

yipes.  i guess you can take the girl out of the east bay, but you can't take the east bay out of the girl.   

okay, i'm gonna revise my bustling house daydream by taking it out of the ultra conventional burbs and moving it to a sprawling ranch in arizona with evening parties in the cactus garden and dusty dirt roads.  add to that a flat in a big city so i can go to the opera and we're set.  whew, that was close; i almost white-picket fenced myself into a jameson before bed time panic.

Friday, September 19, 2008

just sitting on the shelf

ah, fridays are nice.  today i went for a run and then had student conferences and then came back home, graded and took a nap.  and talked to sarah after that which was fun and catch-uppy.  now i'm ready for something to happen.  drinks at the sparrow?  phone time with the parents? snacks and wine? writing?  wandering aimless around the internets?
well, whatevs, i'm not stressed.  which probably means
 i'll wander aimless on the internets, i suppose.  
lately i've been craving the weirdest stuff.  i would think i was pregnant except for that i ABSOLUTELY AM NOT.  like, i'm obsessed with these blue diamond chili lime almonds and also these crazy german rye crackers and la vache qui rit light french onion triangles.  and coke zero.  and hummus made by a company called 'fountain of health.'  now that's just weird.  also, i'm sick to death of grilled cheese and tomato soup.  something's gone wonky.
okay, time to make a decision abt the evening.  i can't blog abt food all night and feel good abt myself in the morning.


Monday, September 15, 2008

Yay Area!

San Diego is beautiful and Arizona is restorative but nothing says home like the Bay. More specifically, the East Bay. Just flying into Oakland on Friday afternoon was fantastic. Nothing makes my imagination happier right now than seeing myself in a little two bedroom, two bath bungalow in some artist-filled area of Oakland. Well, I guess a tenure track job at San Francisco State and a little one bedroom apartment in the Richmond or the Mission would be right up there. And parts of Berkeley are super duper charming. But, man, I love those tan rolling hills with big oak trees that turn all green in the winter. And even rolling through the streets of Livermore in my parents’ Pilot was fun. I don’t know when they made Livermore into wine country, but good job! Cowboys out and cozy family wineries in!

On Friday I made Russell go with me to La Mediterranee so as I could have the vegetarian plate which is AWESOME. I effing love that restaurant – sort of slouchy elegant and cluttery and full of people and deliciousness. Then we drank wine in our Holiday Inn Express out of plastic hotel cups. Saturday was shopping and a quick dip in the pool and then off to the wedding.

Lovely all around. It was grand to see Ray and the kids and Ingrid and drink too much wine with the family. Reminds me again what a priority it is for me to get back there and reinstate some of those awesome family parties with food and wine and rough housing with the babies. The vineyard was perfect – small and gravel roads and chickens and little white lights strung over the tables and a barn and a cute family that runs it with a little toddler named Pepper who wobbled around on toddler legs and kept holding hands with my cousin Kari. The whole thing was preciousness in every direction.

Then Ingrid and her new beau came back to the hotel with us and we sat around in my parents’ room drinking more wine and eating Domino’s until we couldn’t take it anymore. Sunday was hangover, eating nachos at Max’s diner, and to the airport and then it’s planes and planes until Indy.

There is so much happiness for me in California. I have to hold onto that knowledge more and not let school and students and snow bring me down. I’m getting back there, even if I have to work at a community college in Manteca to do it.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

beckett and the new pillows: a study

got some new throw pillows a while back and here is b putting them to use. like the little peanut angel sleepy monster that she is.

Monday, September 8, 2008

go awesome

i went to that job market meeting last wednesday and walked out with a migraine. for literals. it scared the shit out of me. they're all, like, "you should have at least two chapters of yr dissertation done and you should have already set up a this-and-that file with susan whatever and asked for yr letters of recommendation and given those recommenders a packet of information with this that and the other thing." none of which i have or have done. so, glad i wasn't harboring any dreamlets of getting a posh job this year.

but now i know what i really have to do and that's go awesome. in the next year, if i want a job in cali, i've really got to explode in a firestorm of academic achievement and glitter. so it's papers and conferences and hit screenplay and beautiful piece of artwork dissertation that some britishy press wants to publish. and then it will be a party in the stars for old jb.

saturday post

I’m in a really grand mood right now and it’s mostly due to the absolutely beautiful day that’s happening outside. Bright blue sky and sunshine and little breeze. I walked myself to the farmer’s market on 5th street today and bought some lovely heirloom tomatoes and a bunch of arugula and lettuce and a adorable bouquet of flowers in a little glass pot that the lady gave me for $3 instead of $3.50 because of it’s being so close to 12:30, the end of the day for her. So now I’m enjoying a late breakfast of strong black coffee and baguette with cheese and homegrown tomato. Yummm. I’ve decided to try to spend abt $10/week on locally grown products. Nothing tastes as good as fresh homegrown vegetables and I want to support the people who can get them to me instead of buying inferior products elsewhere out of laziness and sheer habit.

Yesterday, I decided to support J.Crew who offered me an extra %20 off their sale stuff and made me this sweet little dress:

I got it in ‘crazy rhubarb’ or whatever it’s called. For date night and parties and maybe even New Year’s Eve with silver heels and these art deco crystal hair clips I inherited from auntie. But Barney’s New York also has fabulous sale items and a metallic Helmut Lang shift dress is also vying for New Year’s outfit status.

Also, yesterday I made some maje progress on the school front. I created a new document and saved it as “Dissertation.” And then I pasted some quotations into it. Word.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

this site is dumb and is not listening to my commands.  i hate the nonlisteners.

beautiful saturday!

Monday, September 1, 2008

back to it

i am having the hardest time getting back into the swing of school.  i had such a lovely summer and now it's just gone.  i don't get it.

but tomorrow i have to wake up and teach again and then i have to wake up and teach again for the rest of my life.  sometimes i wonder if i've chosen the right profession, but then i realize that floating in the ocean is not really considered a profession so i chose the second best thing.  anyway, will finish the phd first and ask questions later.

had a lovely long weekend tho with visits to raven's enormous and pretty house in west laf and then to adryan's for welcome back party.  i played my first game of midwestern beanbag game (which i quite liked -- you get to space out and try to throw beanbags while drinking, what's not to like?) and i made a new appetizer recipe from martha stewart that turned out pretty well.  it was a blue cheese and walnut dip that had (in addition to blue cheese and walnuts) cream cheese, brandy, lemon juice, dash of hot sauce, salt and pepper.  i think some shallots or chives would have been nice too.

off to bed now.  blah, i'm not even sleepy.  i can't go to sleep at midnight anymore -- too early!  i wanna stay up and watch heroes season two and eat baked cheetos.