Sunday, April 27, 2008

a fairly decent size hurrah

is happening in my insides. i thought i might externalize it into a party but the end of the semester is just too hectic. maybe something in a few weeks tho.

so, yeah, i'm finally ABD! and now i feel so very incredibly unmotivated to finish my 601 key text project. it was fun at first to map out the classes i would want to teach but now i'm at the part of the assignment where i have to, like, explain myself and cite sources and whatnot and i find that i very much do not want to do it. i very much would rather sit downstairs and watch movies with my bf.

the defense itself was a little nerve-wracking but then d took me to dinner and then we took naps (friday night naps, baby. you should try it) and then went to hang out with jess and stephen and mehdi and tess which was the perfect amount of fun. the rest of the weekend was spent looking at student drafts, fighting hangover, &c.

now i'm all full of summer plans -- to be healthy and workouty and keep the apartment tidier and read all the books on iris murdoch that have ever been written (well, that one would prolly make me wanna kill myself, so maybe not that) and make a dentist appointment for myself and all those other things i've got knocking around upstairs. including working on my tito and the nails story and my jessica pepperpot story, both of which i'm still very excited abt.

but i still have that fear that i'm actually not a writer and so when i sit down to write my brain says over and over YOU'RE NOT A WRITER and then i chicken out. so another summer goal is to shut that little guy off in my head.

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