Monday, March 31, 2008

parties and headaches

was my weekend in a nutshell. add in some sopranos and not being able to get out of bed until like 5pm on saturday and you've got my entire experience covered. oh, last week i also learned abt myself the fact that looking at baby shower gifts online makes me not want to have a baby but rather to have all sorts of kid home furnishings for myself. like butterflies that float from the ceiling, garden bug and flower wall decals, babylittle crystal chandeliers, enormous paintbrush and paint set. kooky. i want a muscle car (1970 plymouth barracuda or maybe a chevelle instead?), knuckle tattoos, and floating butterflies. it's all one nicely integrated psyche over here.

man, i wish i had some money.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

through the roof, underground

it's perfect until saturday round here, so that means nothing new to report. i've been a little baby angel, really. tonight i tried making these spinach/mushroom wrap things and they turned out pretty good. i substituted bell peppers onions and black olives for the black beans the recipe called for and it was successful. i'm bored of black beans. next i try roasted eggplant, grilled onion, feta wraps with lemon aioli. i don't know what's up with me and wraps right now, i guess it's a phase.

tonight i also did an hour of swisher to wristcutters which was entertaining (tho a little macabre and sloppy). it had tom waits in it which is a plus for any movie. and it made me wish that i got to see gogol bordello like my brother did. i kept being distracted by the actresses tho cuz it seemed like the two main girls looked exactly the same but with different hair colors. skinny with big eyes, i think. i like almost all kinds of underworld movies and i love romance so it was kind of a best of both worlds type deal.

my analytic skills don't seem really up to par tonight so i think i shall retire to the red couch and read some spanishes before i go to sleep.

fun things in the future = mfa readings tomorrow night, coed baby shower sat afternoon and what i'm assuming will be an off the charts, ass over teakettle type party at jess and stephen's. hurrah for mfas.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

what if

i got 'real gone' on my knuckles? votes?

it would be like beat poets plus tom waits plus the 'real' would be an a.r. reference.

the only thing that strikes me as a problem is that i wear auntie's diamonds on my right ring finger and one day i want some cool ass art deco rock on my left ring finger. they would get in the way of the letters, i think.

but i am so antsy and so sick of my purple hair. it's time for new stuff, yeah.

happy spring day

so we all know i'm an atheist. but i'm an atheist who loves holidays so i call today 'happy spring day' instead of the more traditional 'jesus is resurrected from the dead day.' i made veg enchiladas in honor of the new season and drank margs to toast the oncoming sunshine. unfortunately for me, it actually snowed today. however, even ghettoass payless grocery store looks beautiful these days with the explosion of spring flowers they've got by the entrance. and they also have this 'cake for two' section that constantly tempts me with little packages of two slices of delicious looking cake but i'm so good that i haven't once bought the little guys. point being, it's spring time even if the weather is trying to deny it. i've got spring in my insides like gangbusters anyway.

on friday d and i didn't go out until 1am which is what happens when you live 5 blocks from every bar in town. last call is at like a million o'clock in indiana anyway and if i have more than a few hours to drink these days, i end up regretting it in the morning. ran into phil, mickey, some other guy and drank some drinks with phil at knickerbocker. on saturday d fell asleep super early and then put himself to bed but not before asking if i drugged him which i did not. then i read willa cather and material culture until i got so bored that i couldn't take it anymore.

now i will read iris murdoch: a reassessment until d says we can watch more sopranos. i was worried (like sick in the stomach worried) that the reassessment was gonna step on my dissertation toes but thankfully it is so abstract and boring that it's like retrograde.

oh and i usually hate poetry but i like this black baldwin grand by a girl i see in the halls but do not know.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

good, got the brain in gear

turns out the week long nyquil/dayquil regime was holding me back, believe it or not. so maybe it was a full 24 hrs without cold medicine or maybe it was the deadline i gave myself, but i finally got my head into the prospectus and knocked out the draft.

i am definitely a girl who needs a little fire under the ass to stay on top of my work. this is probably not a character strength, but tevs. at least i know it and i know how to work with it. so i emailed my director this afternoon and told her i would have a draft in her mailbox tomorrow. if it has to be done i do it, otherwise i'm hemming and hawing and checking my email like a maniac who hates work.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

some serious concentration issues

is what i've got. i am a squirmy five year old every time i sit down to write this damn prospectus. i'm super excited abt the project, it's just that the prospectus itself is so damn boring! in this chapter, i'm going to blah blah blah. then i will move to blah blah blahing. i'd rather just write what i want to write rather than writing abt what i want to write. and here i am writing abt writing abt writing...

so, bleh.

the other night in a maje nyquil haze i couldn't sleep for some reason and decided to pick up on the road at 3:30am. and i totally realized i have been living my life ALL WRONG! i walk around every day like my life is such a burden and i'm all no-fun-havin when i could be digging some real gone shit and, like, being happy. for instance, this line really spoke to me:

"the point being that we know what IT is and we know TIME and we know that everything is really FINE"

if only i could recapture that feeling right now. i mean it was clear to me at 4 after dropping the quil but it's totally inaccessible to me now. it's back to burdensville and this god damned prospectus is at the top of my burden list.

at least i have sopranos for brain fireworks. tho i'm beginning to suspect that 4 eps a day of the sopranos is starting to make me a bit off-kilter. esp when i feel like i'm starting to channel paulie.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

i did what i could

kind of a sorry saturday today. i finished hamlet for 601 (snooze) and then had a long but dissatisfying sick nap from which i woke up vaguely sweaty and still totally sick. i got it together to go to the knickerbocker for stephen's birthday for one drink and then promptly bailed when everyone decided to walk to mehdi's for dancing. there was just no way i was gonna make it to his place and back home in the snow much less be any fun while there. i was already really pretty boring at the bar i think since i didn't want to talk too much for the coughing. i put on a lot of gold jewelry, though, in the hopes that it would distract people from my boringness.

i'm sure now that i made the right decision in not staying out cuz i can't stop coughing even with one of those gross cherry cold-eezes in my mouth.

feh! saturday night colds are for the birds.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

le hangover

so, yeah, there was the 'bocker there were mfas there was a table of philosophy guys and my pal jameson. what else could result from that curious combination?

and then abt ten minutes ago, as i lounge on my bed in my comfies reading kerouac, it becomes clear that i have a cold. i wondered abt it all day and, yup, the cold just busted out for reals ten minutes ago. siiigh. my throat hurts i'm all soggy kleenexes and the hotcolds. right at the ass-end of break too. and stephen's happy birthday on saturday night.

but i'm feeling good emotionally and all that. making creepingly slow progress on the prospectus, buying strange things online for kicks, watching lots of dvds. oh, i really thoroughly enjoyed dan in real life this afternoon over red pepper & tomato soup. i'm very sensitive on these hangover days you know and easily moved and i really extra enjoy anything that is heartfelt. so i thought that movie was sweet and ownable. the scene where dane cook and steve carrell sing the who song made me get teary and swoon.

so now what? to bed? prolly not. instead perhaps sopranos, a hot chocolate, and nyquil.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

all i want to do for the rest of my life is drink champagne and eat cupcakes.

Friday, March 7, 2008

so it's officially spring break which is lovely and i'm so glad that i still have it and i'm almost 32. that's a life well-planned in my book. here's to a lifetime full of spring breaks!

of course, i did promise myself to finish a draft of my prospectus and that will be a bit of a drag. but i can do it my pajamas and that is never a drag. so bring on a week of icy, frosty, not-at-all-spring spring break.

on weds, instead of reading on the road in bed with peach and mango tea, i was convinced to head to spurlock's to celebrate a fellow's abd status. i told myself one jameson and had four which, actually, i consider a success. it was a nice night out and the black sparrow is far cooler on the weekday without poseurs right and left. i mean, it's indiana people, you're not that cool.

dunno what's on for tonight. first some food and then something delightful, i'm sure. cuz anything is going to be delightful to me tonight. even if it is watching 30 days of night in my comfy pants.

i've been feeling very free lately and i've gotta think that kerouac has something to do with it.

Monday, March 3, 2008


the sycamore review fete on fri was lovely and i drank way too much free wine. but that's to be expected. there was a minor downer when i realized that the lovely, willowy anna l. was wearing THE EXACT SAME DRESS AS ME. i mean, come on. we're in lafayette, indiana and the closest anthropologie is an hour away and is stuffed to the rafters with interesting cocktail dresses. so of course one of the cutest poets in town picks the same thing i pick and then we choose to wear it to the same party. hmph, but whatever. i got over it after glass number three.

what was lamer was that on saturday the neighbors down the hall (with whom i thought i was friends) had a party and didn't invite us. so that was confusing and disheartening. esp running into mutual friends in the hallway and having to say "oh, i wasn't invited" when they asked why i wasn't there. so, hmph.

what i'm gonna do now is focus on my future by working on my prospectus, my syllabus for the great american novels class (theme will be resistance and rebellion, so excited!), and my espanol. i'm currently practicing translating with gabriel garcia marquez who is a perennial favorite.

even tho matt told me that knuckle tattoos are dirty and that i should get something more artistic, i'm feeling feeling antisocial enough to ignore the desire to be pretty.